Posted by: King Bee | July 27, 2006

Yep, he is…

So… yesterday, one of my best friends made an announcement. Splashed across the cover of People Magazine he announced, “I’m Happy.” Sure, he may have chosen a different word- his being, “gay”, but when is the last time you really looked at the real definition of that word?

Gay
1 a : happily excited : MERRY gay mood> b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits gay spring song>
2 a :
BRIGHT, LIVELY gay sunny meadows> b : brilliant in color
3 : given to social pleasures; also : LICENTIOUS

Sure, the fourth one mentions something about homosexuality (members of the same sex engaging in sexual activity- privately and behind closed doors where it is no one else’s business what you do (including all of you kinky straight people who don’t want to be judged for the sling that may be hanging from your ceiling or the drawer of toys you keep locked from your children)), but let’s not focus on what we already know. Instead, let’s think about a term society has decided to equate with sin, immoral behavior, and negative connotation, when in actuality, it means happily excited, bright and lively.

For most of us who know gay people, no matter how mean and cruel life has been to them, don’t you find they are usually the happiest and liveliest people you know? Is that really such a bad thing? They have spent their childhood hiding and suffering in secrecy until one day they explode and can no longer live in fear of who they are. Spending every waking day of the rest of their lives living each moment in brilliant color. With all of the chaos, pain, anger, violence, war, hatred, intolerance and suffering in the world, who is to say that living a happy and vibrant life is such a bad way to be? Perhaps the people quickest to put down “gay people” are only projecting their own discomfort, jealousy and unhappiness with themselves since we all know misery loves company and would rather have the happy people join their discontent. Imagine if instead, everyone rose above and found their happiness, joy and vitality.

Everyone has been eager for my opinion on Lance’s news with questions ranging from benign to outrageous. Did you know? How long have you known? Did you and Lance date? Is he a top or a bottom? Why now and not sooner?

I will go on record and say Lance and I have never dated. He has been and is one of my best friends. I don’t often talk about it so vocally and candidly, but I figure right now is as good of a moment as any. What started as nothing more than a fan getting to meet one of his favorite bands du jour has resulted in a six year friendship that has taken me across the country and back and allowed me VIP backstage access to some of life’s most colorful and privy experiences that I know most people never get to see.

It has been my privilege to be his friend and a confidante and to be by his side as he has struggled and gone through the process over the last few years about all that this announcement would mean (not just privately as most of us deal with, but also publicly) and figuring himself out as a person. Yes, he really is a human. I have watched his comfort level sway and I have watched him trip and stub his toes. I have also watched him stand back up with poise and I have watched his confidence blossom. While certainly not perfect (he’s not the best at committing to events, which also makes it a pleasant surprise when he shows up), he is without question one of the most generous and kind hearted people I have ever known. I could not live the life I do had he not been so generous in his friendship with me.

With that said, I couldn’t be more proud to be standing by him at this time and calling him a friend. I tip my hat to him and my smile beams. Everyone’s comments on his myspace page and on my website below have been amazing and I am so humbled and thankful by the beautiful responses. It is very much a relief to see how far we have come as a society. Granted, we are still a million miles behind the curve ball, but a long distance from where we were even thirteen years ago when I myself wrestled with the same demons. Yes, it’s true, I wasn’t always the open gay boy who is now so willing to share every detail of my life. I too once hid in the shadows of my unhappy self.

I know there are detractors and haters who will be against all of this and to them I do not feel anger, I feel sadness. I ask that when you encounter them, you treat them the same. My sympathy goes out to anyone living a sad and bitter life who want nothing more than company. And to them I want to ask, why don’t you step outside of your comfort zone and be happy? Rise above and join us in our level of comfort and live your life with the same brilliant color. We can promise we won’t make you practice same-sex, but we may make you dance with us!

xox

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Responses

  1. Well said!

  2. So happy for him. 🙂 He’s always been such a bubbly, vibrant person — it’s part of what has always made him so attractive. ‘Step out of your comfort zone and just be happy.’ That’s very good advice, Bob.

  3. ok. i cried. i just remember everything you went through and now i see you, this brillant shining star not hiding for one second, and i am proud to have been along the journey.

    you are so good at being a friend and lance is lucky to have you by his side.

    love you,
    s

  4. I cried when I found out about Lance, not because he is gay but because I feel bad for him. He must have been so scared when he decided to come out and tell everyone and I admire him so much for that. His courage will never go un noticed, I’m glad to see that he is so happy, take care and God Bless Lance!
    ~Kristen~

  5. *Claps*

    Beautiful!!

  6. That entire post was one of the sweetest things I have ever read. You are a true friend. Lance is very lucky to have you by his side 🙂

  7. What a beautiful way to pay tribute to a friend.

  8. To be your true unique self, to know who you are, to be comfortable in your own skin, and to be happy is the greatest thing in the world.

    I support Lance 100% and I’m glad that he made the annoucement. As long as he’s happy–thats all that matters. Ive had guy friends that told me early on that he was– and my reaction was as it is now. Its all good. Life is good.

    Increase the inner peace!

  9. This really is one of the sweetest and kindest things a friend can do. Go public and stand behind him. I admire both of you!

    I’m very happy that Lance has gathered the courage to come out. It cannot be an easy decision (especially in the situation he’s in). I helped two of my friends come out in high school. They were both very dear to me and I was very happpy to help them through it.

    I wish both Lance, and you Bob, the best! Thanks for this post. It means a lot to know there are true friends out there. And you really are one to Lance.

  10. Dear Bob (and Lance because you linked me to this post),

    The only words I can say at this momemnt is that I would be so lucky if I could ever have the fortune to have a friend like you are to Lance. Thank you for being in Lances life, especially at a time like this where he has your support. Also, thanks for sharing yourself with his fans who care so much about him.

  11. You are a true friend, Bob!
    When I heard about it yesterday for the 1st time I was immediately wondering:”Why is it such a difficult thing to come out? To even just talk about it? Everybody has the right to be who they are.
    But I’m sitting in a wheelchair from birth and I’m used to fight for my right, so who am I to speak this way?

  12. Lance has all of our undying support!

  13. Bob,

    Lance is very lucky to have a friend like you in his life. You truly are an amazing person and I’m sure Lance feels the same about having you in his life.

    xoxo

    – michael

  14. U truly are a blessing. I think it is awesome that Lance has a friend like yourself. This world would be a much more decent place if more people had minds like you and him. People get so wrapped up in what is considered “normal” and they don’t realize that “normal” is different to each individual. “Normal” is really what people make of it and if we could stretch our minds a little out of our own little box of normalcy everyday, then each individual will end up with a broader sense of “normal” and thus making this world a much better place for all of us 🙂
    Thankyou again for being such a great friend to Lance, and for really steppin up BESIDE him and helping out. Kinda like in Billy Madison where the little boy pees his pants and then Billy does the same thing to make it seem like “all the cool kids are doing it.” (He redefined “normal” with this, lol.) Such a great example of friendship and what it does for people.

    Good job, and thnx 🙂
    Janelle Woodburn

  15. I owe Lance a lot. In fact, like you, his kindness is the reason I had a lot of the experiences I did in the last 6 years. He’s nothing if not a truly fabulous example of a human being. He’s like a warm hug on a cold day. He makes me smile.

    And I want his eyebrows.

  16. I like the video, it’s funny. I think Chris is a little ansty about something–anticipation maybe? But Justin’s face…ahahahaha! Who wouldn’t wanna kiss Lance? Oh sorry, I digress…it’s good to know how many outstanding and very supportive people Lance has behind him on this. Someone tell me again why this should affect how I feel about Lance and that voice and that crooken smile and…again, I digrees…. =P

  17. got here through lance’s myspace blog.

    i like this post…i found out just yesterday about this and i have to say, it has not changed what i think of lance…actually it made me admire him more for his honesty. it was pretty brave of him to go out there and tell the truth when he knew that there would be people who’d say negative things as much as there’d be people who’d say positive ones.

    i agree with what you said here. lance is lucky to have a friend like you. but then again, that’s what friendship should be about right?

    as far as i know, lance/nsync fans here in the philippines support him all the way, esp now.

  18. Bob I couldn’t have put it any better. The tears that I’ve been holding since yesterday have finally begun to fall. What a beautiful blog to a wonderful friend. I agree with everything you’ve said. I just can’t comprehend why being gay or straight makes any difference in who you are as person. I’ll have you know that I’ll dance with you anytime. Hugs.

  19. It makes my heart glad to know that Lance has friends like you.

    *gives you both great big hugs*

  20. Bob you are truly remarkable. It takes a true friend to stand by you through thick and thin. Lance is blessed to have you as a friend. I’m sure the love and support you have shown are invaluable to him.

    You’re the best!

  21. My respect and adoration grew more than I thought possible for Lance, and reading your post, someone I hardly even know, I could not be more proud of your friendship with Lance and how much you happily support him. He has my support 150% and the rest of the fans could not be prouder.

    God bless and much love, respect, and happiness to the both of you! -KAH

  22. Bravo.
    Wonderfully put!

  23. Very nice sentiment, Bob! It is awesome to see somebody respect and support Lance.

    DeafBusta

  24. Thank you for taking the time out to so eloquently send some love out to Lance. You sound like a wonderful friend. I had met Lance several times while working in Los Angeles and he was always a complete sweetheart…a rare find in the “industry”. I wish him all of the happiness he can hold in his heart. 🙂 xoxo, kimbertimber

  25. You’re an amazing guy, and an amazing friend. God bless Lance for being a brave, stand up guy and being proud of who he is, and bless you for having his back like a true friend. As for certain trolls who may be doing a victory dance right now, karma is a stone cold bitch. 😀

  26. Well, I left a message on his myspace, but it took about a half hour for it to be off the page people were posting so quickly. So I’ll put it here too, and Bob, let him know that there are apparently thousands of us out there trying to show our support.

    And for Lance, I just wanted to add my support to the throngs that have done so already.

    While I respect you for closeting yourself for the sake of your band and your career, I’m really proud of you for finally coming out with the truth. I certainly have looked up to you (and had a crush on you) for years. It’s nice to finally have a gay guy in the mainstream pop world that we can support.

    Tell the networks that you’ve got fans lined up for your show. I’ll throw house parties if I need to just to get the viewership up.

    And hey, if you’re interested in doing more interviews Lance, I’d be ecstatic to interview you for a blog that I write for.

    Anyway, best of luck to you. You need anything, put out a holler and the rest of us will see what we can do.

  27. Lance-i am sooo proud of u for coming out,i dont know how u were able to keep it held in for soo long,im sure it was very hard on u,i am dealing with the same problem,i dont know if u can give me any advice or not,i just need some help..i have also been a big fan of yours since u guys 1st started,just curious when are u going to do your own cd??

    Much Love,Clint

  28. bob u are so awesome! its cool that he has such a great friend in you..see i can finally say that i have someone thats awesome to share my bday with!! i do agree with u on how still in this day and age we are still judgin ppl on their sexual orientation rather than their personality or character…when i read the article about it i could tell he felt like the weight was lifted off his shoulders big time..maybe one day in this world ppl won’t have to “come out” they can jus be who they are an no one will care..

  29. You should see the comment, 2nd page, in Joey’s myspace blog.

  30. Bob, once again, you’ve managed to clearly articulate what has been bubbling around in my brain the last 24 hours. You’re an amazing friend and I’m so glad that I found this site last year. Lance isn’t the only one you’ve helped become comfortable in his own skin.

    I’m incredible proud of Mr. Bass and how he has handled this whole manner. With showbiz being his life, he could be interviewing everywhere right now and while it would be understandable, it would seem at least a little cheesy. Instead, he’s letting the article talk for him and his friends stand by him. That is pure class. My hat’s off to him as well as friends/family who are issuing statements of support while keeping things relatively ‘normal’ for him. Well done, all of you.

    elizabeth

  31. Bob! This has to be one of the best tributes to a friend I’ve ever seen! Thank you so much for sharing this and for being such a fabulous friend to Lance. You both rock! 🙂

  32. Wow..not only do you write beautifully, but the words you say are so true. You sound like an amazing man. How lucky is Lance to have someone like you standing behind him.

  33. This definitely brought a tear to my eye. I first met Lance in New York City circa March 1998 after a club show at XS (their first show right before they released the self-titled album). He is not only the most kind-hearted and generous person I’ve ever met, but he’s also one of those people who will always remember you even if you haven’t seen him in years. I am glad that he has such a wonderful group of people around him who support him and whether or not he realizes it, many people that he’s met and hung out with in the past and many people who’ve never met him at all support him. This was a big step for him and I give him props for finally being able to come out and be who he really is. He’s awesome, always has been and always will be.

  34. Bob, this was a great tribute to a friend. Everyone should be so lucky to have a good friend like you to stand by their side. How courageous he is. I wish him much luck in the future. Lots of love, Faith


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